Tulip Fever

The only thing that this film served up in the end was a desire to get some tulips for home. That was how distracted my mind was as I sat through 107 minutes of badly written dialogue, poorly conceived characters, unfocused directing, chemistry-less romance and narration; yes, let-me-tell-you-what-is-happening-and-what-will-be-happening-as-it-unfolds narration.

From the get go, we were introduced to a clunky introduction. If just based on the words themselves, by writers Tom Shepard and Deborah Moggach (also author of the book the film is based on), it would have been an impactful and mysterious prologue, but director Justin Chadwick chose to underscore that with heavy-handed, hit-you-on-the-head-with-a-sledge-hammer imageries, such that within the first minute or so, practically the whole plot is known. It was all downhill from there.

Furthermore, the insistence of having so many characters and subplots, but yet not adequately servicing any of them enough, made the plot paper thin and the characters under-baked. Things happen, accept it. Barely any moment was utilised to explore the motivations of these characters.

But at least the production value seemed high. And everybody looked good.

Tulip Fever was shot in 2014 and the reason why its released was delayed till now is abundantly clear: to capitalise on Alicia Vikander's post-Oscar fame. And here, Vikander showed why she was earmarked - and clearly destined - for bigger things. Pre-Ex Machina and The Danish Girl, Vikander brought a fragile vulnerability to her character that hinted at greater depths and complexity, not that Chadwick put that into much use.

Poor Dane DeHaan is not having a good year. Or even a great run of years. After his breakthrough role in Chronicles and a promising turn in The Place Beyond the Pines, he kind of made a left turn culminating in this year's duds Valerian and A Cure for Wellness. Interestingly, these dud were by respectable directors, who clearly see something in him, but sadly neither could bring it out of him. And similarly here, DeHaan barely had any chemistry with Vikander, and spent most of his time behaving more like an infatuated puppy dog than a man in love.

Holiday Grainger and Jack O'Connell rounded out the other pair of lovers in this tale. Grainger was lovely and perhaps her character should have been the lead. Maybe she was, but the edits and marketing, post-Oscar 2016, decided to focus on Vikander instead. O'Connell stood out in Jodie Foster's Money Monster, and like DeHaan, Hollywood still do not really know what to do with him.

Christoph Waltz was a delight. As was Judi Dench. But, inevitably, this film felt beneath them. Tom Hollander and Zach Galifianakis rounded out the supporting cast. With Cara Delevigne (oh, hey Laureline) and Matthew Morrison (Mr Shue!) in cameos.

There is a very good story, and possibly a great Romance, somewhere within this film, but perhaps we can find it in the book instead.