Aquaman [IMAX/3D]

This film was so painful to sit through. It was bloated and over-stuffed with unoriginal directing, unimaginative sequences, bad CGIs, poor acting and casting, and an atrocious soundtrack. Not even Jason Momoa's charm could save this film. Sitting through all 143 minutes, one could not help but think how much more superior Black Panther was in terms of world-building and rules-setting for Wakanda, and now I really cannot wait for James Cameron's underwater Avatar to show them all how an underwater adventure should be done  (I could be wrong, but in Cameron we trust).

One of the biggest problem in this film, other than the fact that Amber Heard needs more acting lessons and has zero chemistry with Momoa, and that Nicole Kidman, Willem Dafoe and Patrick Wilson were all horribly miscast (guess even stars need to cash a paycheck), was the absolute lack of originality and imagination in James Wan's directing. Other than a very few moments that showcased his excellent grasp of horror, almost every single significant moment was a poor copycat imitation of another - usually superior - film. We had rip offs from: Tron, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Descent, Pitch Black, Mission Impossible: Fallout, The Mummy, Indiana Jones, Skyfall, The Lord of the Rings, The Adventures of Tintin, Journey to the Centre of the Earth, Pacific Rim, King Kong....and the list could go on. Even the closing credits felt like a rip off from Game of Thrones.

Then we have the action sequences. The hand-to-hand combats with Momoa were actually good, in particular the final face-off. But once the scope got larger, or it devolved into a standard Hollywood gun fight, it was just a mess. A messy, cacophony of images, bad CGI and furious editing. That epic battle at the end, so reminiscent of The Lord of the Rings, was boring, unimaginative and lacked the adrenaline-pumping excitement of something so grand.

Wan was like a spoilt, rich frat-boy with tons of money but no intelligence to spend it properly other than to realise his teenage comic/sci-fi fever dreams. Come to think of it, it was as if he was given the Book of Destiny by the Monitor and could only dream small.

It was so dreary and tiresome sitting through it all when visually there was nothing new or exciting. It was not like the screenplay itself was any more riveting. Three credited screenwriters, and it was, or perhaps because of, predictable and contrived with bits of juvenile humour thrown in to lighten things up. The dialogue was cringe-worthy and any exploration of character depth or nuance was as shallow as a puddle in the Sahara.

Poor Momoa. He has charm and does action well with a good comedic timing. But the film let him down and even he could not carry all 140+ minutes of this film. But boy, does he have nice hair. Definitely nicer than Heard's, who possibly has the worst red hair-wig/CGI since Marvel's Medusa from the Inhumans. 

Heard and Momoa had no chemistry, so on that front, their romance was a bust. Typical, expected, predictable and boring. You could see the creators trying to make her into something more than just a love interest, but ultimately they failed as Heard was simply there to support Momoa's Aquaman and drive the narrative and provide exposition.

Wilson was also badly miscast. There is no way Wilson can pass off as the younger brother of Momoa. Wan obviously let his sentiments for his frequent lead actor Wilson get the better of him. Other than it being s a distraction, Wilson's role was as cardboard as it got for a supervillain, And although there were obvious attempts to humanise him, neither the script nor the direction had the kahunas to delve further than a cursory brush off. Which makes one wonder why then a 143 minutes run time?

Then we had the prestige casting of Kidman and Dafoe who sadly were in it physically but not anywhere near even a tenth of what they can do. The bad CGI anti-aging did them no service, making both looked more like a Playstation game character than pseudo-real human beings. This ain't anywhere near Michael Douglas or Michelle Pfeiffer or Kurt Russell level of VFX magic from the MCU.

Kidman tried her best, but she was trapped by one of many bad, bad, ugly, kitschy, costume-designs of the film (oh...Wakanda!), horrid CGI, and plain bad writing. Granted the opening scene with her and Temuera Morrison was actually one of the best of the film, and she actually had chemisty with Morrison. Also, it was nice to see her kick ass, although obviously it wasn't her per se.

Dafoe really just snoozed his way through this. He was even more exciting back in the days when he was the Green Goblin.

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as the second villain could have been so much more, but obviously we are building him up for the sequel..cue eyes-rolling.

The music was by Rupert Gregson-Williams, and it was so bad. Distracting, jarring, incoherent and inconsistent. Perhaps the only moment where it worked was at the end.

Truly, this film only had two parts that worked. The prologue and the finale. It was dis-spiriting that  even with the prolonged period of post-production, they still could not get the film right.

IMAX and 3D were not worth it for this film.

Stay for the mid-credits scene, but do we really want a sequel to this, though it might be inevitable.

The DCEU cinematic universe is in trouble and one can only hope Wonder Woman 1984 can save them...again. Go watch the Arrowverse Elseworlds if you want good DCEU entertainment. That had humour, action, pathos, excitement and character growths despite its much lower budget and TV-quality CGI.