1 March 2023

Bullet Train


Whitewashing aside, this film was a squandered dud that cruised solely on Brad Pitt’s charm. Based off a Japanese novel, this American film - yet still set in Japan - by director David Leitch was a terrible Quentin Tarantino/Edgar Wright wannabe. It so desperately wanted to be as stylish cool and quippy/witty as “Baby Driver”, “Kill Bill” or “The Hateful Eight” but everything it did just did not land. Even the needle drops were not as fun as they could be.

It lacked humour (dark, dry, lame or otherwise), the cast did not have chemistry together (Andrew Koji and Hiroyuki Sanada were great; Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry’s odd couple schtick was routine but it at least it did work, although once separated they kinda collapsed; Joey King just did not work - at all), the action, violence and gore were uninteresting and flat (just not enough blood or thrills with way too outrageous scenes on green screens that displaced the film from any possible reality), and essentially everything was just so predictable (every single beat, twist and storyline was so clearly telegraphed and badly foreshadowed it might as well be written for a child).

The A-list cameos were cute, but those occasional glimmer of fun could not salvage this uninspired ride.

Pitt is a good comedic actor (see: the “Ocean” franchise, “Moneyball” and “Burn Before Reading”), but this film just did not serve him well. Pity. This could have the potential to spin off a new franchise for him a la Keanu Reeves and “John Wick”.

Stay for the mid-credits scene. 

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